A journey and thoughtlessness

It’s a journey and I’m traveling. But I’m standing still, waiting for the train to move. Nothing is happening, state without thoughts. In this state, it’s even hard to write a story. Well, it’s how it is when I don’t have thoughts. What is the problem? Why don’t I have them? Maybe because I don’t desire them? It’s not. It is written: “Devote yourself to the Lord and thoughts will appear”. In that case, seems I didn’t devote myself to Him. Where are my thoughts? Oh, yeah! Wait a minute! I have sounded thoughts! It’s a gift. Or a curse? How can it be a curse when I even hear God talking to me? “No, no! That is not it!”, psychriatists would say. It’s all crazy ideas and hallucinations, they would say. BEGONE GODLESS! As if you know what I hear!? I have a schizophrenia or was is a possibility to get free medication? How much longer with medication? That only God knows and that’s why I don’t worry and wait for Him to tell me.